Photo Update!

So clearly it’s been way too long so for anyone who is still out there following I thought I’d throw out some pics!

Huxtable – 3 Weeks Later

I know, I know, I’ve missed two days and to be honest it almost turned into three but I decided that I don’t give up and it’s ultimately about progress not perfection. Here I am.

Yesterday we celebrated (ok we didn’t actually celebrate but rather noted) Huxtable being with us for three weeks!  In some ways I can’t believe it’s already been three weeks and in others it feels like forever.  He’s really found his place in our family, or in my and Lil’ Lady’s hearts, and is such a welcome addition (hmmm mostly 😉 ).

Frustrations

I want to premise this post with the assurance to you that I am blessed, I know that, I have more than I deserve, life ultimately is good (though challenging) and I am thankful for the gifts I have.

However that doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m human and sometimes life this process of adoption also holds frustrations.

The ‘Other’ Mom

I thought I might tackle answering a question that I’ve been asked or at least a topic that’s been commented on a lot since we’ve entered this process of adoption: what’s it like to have a kid with another mom (or not being her ‘real’ mom)?

This is a loaded question and honestly I’m not sure if my thought processes are enough to answer it properly or even in one sitting so be prepared to hear about it more than once.

Our Adoption Journey Update – Part 5

Considering we are almost to our next court day (like we are counting down the days in single digits) I thought I better continue our updating.

I believe I last left off with us finding out last fall that TM had decided to no longer pursue retaining custody.  For those who missed it check it out here. Once that decision was made we all believed that the process would speed up considerably.  Our next court date after that was less than 2 weeks.  Documents were signed on her part soon after in preparation for that day so that a judge could look at the case and close it up nice and clean.  However we all had another thing coming …

Our Adoption Journey Update – Part 4

It’s been a while since continuing our update so let me try now …

Once Lil’ Lady began visits with her TM (Tummy mommy) at around 8 months old we had some adjusting to do.  We were then going in to the agency 3 times a week for visits, much different than the every other week and at times not at all that we were used to (or should I say I was used to).  Many people ask what a visit looks like and all I can say is it’s different depending on the kind that it is.  One of the visits she was having was supervised from the first second until the end and it was only an hour each week, other visits changed depending on how they were going.  With TM they were longer visits and initially were supervised but quickly changed to check in type visits where a social worker would check in at the beginning, middle and end but otherwise they were on their own.  Soon after that they became exchange visits where the visiting parent checks in as does the child and then they get to go where ever they want in the community and return at the end and check in again. 

Dear Mama

I have another adoption update post ready to go but a few days ago a friend of mine suffered a tragic loss.  I haven’t been able to get it out of my head or her and her family out of my heart.  The only thing I could think of to do was write.  The following of course has risk of being taken wrong or perhaps to some may even been a fairytale idea, but for me it’s therapy and maybe a little bit of hope that a loss like this doesn’t overshadow the miracle that lives.  However you read it, please read knowing it is with the best of intentions and so much empathy for anyone who has experienced it.  Forgive me for any imperfections and please see the heart of it.

Pray for this family, that a comfort and healing will be present in a way that surpasses their understanding.

 

Dear Mama,

I love you.  I never got a chance to tell you that because, as you know, I never got a chance to do a great many things.  I know you and Daddy are sad right now but I don’t want you to be sad forever.  For you me leaving happened early but for me it happened at the right time.  I don’t really understand all these things just that heaven was as ready for me today as it was for all the other people that live here, the old and young alike. 

Mama, I want to thank you for making my life so amazing.  To people on the outside of the home you made for me my life hadn’t started but both of us know it started many months ago.  Mama I will never forget the first time I kicked you to let you know I was here, your heart jumped with joy and you almost didn’t believe it was me.  You couldn’t wait for me to do it again!  And I did and it was such fun! Remember the first time I played with Daddy? I know I couldn’t see with my eyes the way everyone on the outside does but my heart could, it saw the happiness in both of your hearts and I actually even heard your laughter. 

Catch up!!

Well time got away from me last week though when I counted up how many appointments and playdates/coffee dates I had it’s no wonder, over a dozen!!!

However there were lots of pictures taken of Lil’ Lady so the grandparents shouldn’t be disappointed! I’m only going to post half as the ones I took on my phone didn’t come up so I’ll have to get them in order first. Here are a few to hold you over 🙂

Here is one poolside taken lastnight (these aren’t in any proper order) at Lil’ Lady’s birth maternal step grandma’s house (can you figure that one out?) while we were celebrating her maternal grandpa’s birthday!  She had lots of kisses for him and I enjoyed  lounging in the pool while everyone else chased her around!  **This was the millisecond after we took her lifejacket off before leaving in case any social workers are creeping me!! We left soon after**

Being in the Moment in Parenthood

I want to chat a bit about last summer and where we were at with the process, Lil’ Lady was around 6 months old (and growing) and the nice weather was upon us. We were at a point in the process where there were absolutely no guarantees (by the way life holds not one anyhow) and in reality we were still fairly early on in things. Once I had come to the place of acceptance of ‘let’s just love her the best we can no matter how long she’s with us’ I also decided that since we knew this was possibly the first and only summer we’d enjoy together we would do it right. At that point I planned every ‘first’ type summer and fall trip I could think of.

In Lil’ Lady’s World

In Lil’ Lady’s world …

A squirrel is also known as a cat

There is a puppy behind every fence

A meal is not over until some of it makes it to the floor

And colouring is the most amazing thing to do on the planet (and the places you can put it are endless!)